And if I come to ledges...

1. I'm tired, my feet hurt and people are having too many babies!

The end.

Question: When is it time to stop picking black raspberries?

A) When you have a sufficient amount for you and your family
B) When both your shins are bleeding
C) When you realize you are standing in a patch of poison ivy
D) When a bird poops on you

Answer: None of the above! You quit when your bucket is overflowing!

1. Back from the Book Nook Bonanza (250,000 used books! Stuffy middle school auditorium! Hundreds of rude, pushy, often smelly book worms! Heaven! Well, sort of.) Score: huge stack of Smithsonian magazines, some vintage Daphne du Maurier, some modern witch type stuff for my friend Shelley and a bunch of biographies and obscure history stuff (Life in the Great Summer Homes of America! Cool!)

2. Oh, and all right, I bought another volume of Edna St. Vincent Millay. I can't help it. It's a disease. When they're in such beautiful condition and only $2.00, what am I supposed to do? I'll give it away, I promise.

3. I think, I think, I think...I might have figured out what's wrong with the WIP. Don't want to say too much until I have time to think it out, which won't be until Sunday because...

4. Going on a picnic tomorrow with dear friends! Gorgeous weather, mountain air, possible raspberry picking. All good.

5. And the jewel in the crown of a happy week: thanks to an alert from annemariepace--found this gorgeous review of FHTC. This one almost made me cry!

"A beautiful gem of a book." The heck with tattoos. I want to paint that on the roof of my house!

Whoa. Was awakened early this morning (dog making that dreaded gagging noise!) and couldn't get back to sleep, so turned on TV and watched The Razor's Edge with Tyrone Power and Gene Tierney and had this whoa moment. I hadn't seen this movie in many many years and I guess I had forgotten that the two female leads were named Sophie and Isabelle. And I'm thinking "Huh. That sounds awfully familiar. Sophie and Isabelle. Sophie and Isabelle. Where have I heard that before?"

Duh! My first book! The two female leads: Sophy and Isabelle! Did I do that subconsciously? I've been a lifelong Tyrone Power fan, so I have passionately watched this movie in the past. Weird.

Thank you so much to everyone for the congratulations on the BCCB review of FHTC! I'm so happy to be able to share these things with friends.

Okay, a little history between me and the BCCB: they hated my first book. As in "Oh my God, this is a crappy book! Don't anyone ever read it, ever ever ever!" I might be paraphrasing a bit, but that was the gist of the thing. It was such a painful episode in my life, that for a time, I tried to eliminate the letters "B" and "C" in daily speech. But that made ordering a Boston Creme pie difficult. To say nothing of insulting family members Brett and Chloe.

But now! Oh, all is forgiven, BCCB! Past pain is but a distant memory. I am now all about the Bs and the Cs because of this wonderful review of Funny How Things Change. It's all good, but here are the bits I briefly considered having tattooed somewhere:

"Wyatt deftly manages to maintain a deep sense of realism while throwing multiple complications in his way, making for a genuinely moving conflict. Subtleties are drawn out in small but significant details"

"This timeless drama of a teen trying to make the right decision about his future is credibly set against timely issues about bad local economies based on unsustainable mining practices, making for a memorable and truly compelling coming-of-age-story."

Adventures in Baby-Naming continue. It was apparently "I made it up!" week:

Zaylin (girl)

Me: Oh! That's...interesting. Where did you find that?

Mom: Nowhere. I made it up!

Keku (girl)

Me: Oh! That's...interesting. Is it Japanese? (Look, I'm from York. What do I know?)

Mom: (puzzled frown appearing between eyebrows) Noooo. I just like it. I made it up!

Me: (wondering if I should mention the frightening similarities to the name of Mila Jovavich's character in freaky The Fifth Element. Think better of it. Take pictures. Leave.)

Caylin (boy)

Me: And it's a boy?

Mom: Yes.

Me: That's...interesting.

Mom: I wanted to name him "Cayden" but everyone is naming their babies "Cayden," so I made this up.

Me: And we're spelling it Ell-Aye-Enn?

Mom: Yes.

Me: Are you sure? It sort of looks like a girl's name.

Mom: (with authority--she did, after all, make it up) No. That's right.

Me: (trying to remember the name of Bruce Willis's character in The Fifth Element. Corbin! That's it! Wondering if I should suggest it as an alternative. Better not. Hope Caylin doesn't end up sitting next to Zaylin in kindergarten. Feel for kindergarten teachers everywhere. Expect to encounter a Zayden in the next room. Cannot even hazard a guess as to gender at this point.)

On the other hand, had a Delight last week. Thought that was charming, but then I used to know a doll artist named Delight and she was actually delightful, so I have that bias.

I have a new muse! I bought her at a flea market! Yeah, you can get muses there. For real. Bargain priced! Check her out:



Yes, Lana Turner is my muse. I have spent most of today trying to figure out where to hang her but I think I'm just going to carry her around with me (which will be interesting, considering she's 23" tall--this is just her top half here) so that she can beam on me wherever I am. Who could not be inspired while bathed in the glow of that dazzling smile? I expect to write in glorious Technicolor from now on!

Over here I'm joining a group of fantastic writers, brought together by the fabulous Colleen Mondor, to talk about what girls want in their reading. This is an ongoing project where we will be answering various questions and talking about a lot of great topics related to girls and literature. So far, the responses are so varied, it promises a lot of great fodder for the future. Come on over and join in the discussion!

Watching Cash Cab, Will just correctly answered a question about Nelson Mandela that the seemingly erudite contestant missed. When I congratulated him, he said "Well, duh! It's in Pick Me Up!"

So the local newspaper ran an article on yours truly this past Sunday (text of article here). My fifth-grader's teacher put the print article--complete with rather large picture of moi--on the classroom bulletin board.

Awwww! How cool is that, right?

Until fifth grader reports that his friend drew a mustache on me.

Sigh.

The fantastic Krista at Tower of Books asked me some great questions over here. Come and read about how I almost passed out researching this book.

Photographed a baby boy today named Theory. Yeah, at this point, I'd say he was more of a Concrete Reality.

1. VOYA review for Funny How Things Change is in and it's wonderful! 5Q! Guys, I gotta tell you, this is so much more than I hoped for for this book. I was just so flipping happy it got published at all. At this point, I want to stomp around like a crazy person and laugh hysterically, but it would frighten the children.

2. Actually, the children would probably just roll their eyes because--sadly--they're used to me.

3. Okay, saying stuff like "I'm glad my book got published at all" is probably not on the list of "smart promotional phrases," I guess. But, well, there it is.

4. Here's the meat of the review: "Beautifully spare language portrays the quiet story of a good guy, perhaps lacking in worldly ambition but honest and real, who wonders where his place in the world ought to be. Remy will attract both male and female readers, and the setting takes on character as issues of the environment and the true value of land become central to the story. It is refreshing to find a young person capable of contentment, willing to wrestle with issues larger than himself, and sensitive to family history and elders yet still believably imperfect."

5. And I just have to add that Adam Lambert should have won, but I don't think it was the guyliner that did him in. Maybe I'll expand on that later.

I'm on the Summer Blog Blast Tour today at Chasing Ray. Bless Colleen Mondor for letting me rattle on to my heart's content!

This beautiful blog review of Funny How Things Change. Is there anything better than when a reader reads your book the way your hoped it would be read?

1. Clothing Manufacturers, for a variety of reasons:

a) How Dumb Do You Think We Are, Anyway? The answer: pretty damned dumb. Witness the sticker slapped onto the pair of dark blue jean capris I tried on yesterday. (And no, capris is not one of the things I'm pissed off about, even if you think I should be. Look, if you ever saw my knees, you'd be going "Yes. Capris. Excellent sartorial choice there, Melissa. No one really needs to see those lumpy things in the middle of your legs. The world thanks you for covering up." But anyway...) No, what's pissing me off is what this sticker said. Witness: "Our dark denim tint is unique! It may come off on lighter fabrics in the laundry or on upholstery."

Translated, what it's really saying is: "This dye didn't take. It's utter crap. But we didn't realize it until we'd already had a crapload of these capris made up and we aren't about to swallow the loss on these, so we're going to pretend we meant them to be this way. Why, it's unique! Isn't that special? You should feel so honored that we're allowing you to wear these uniquely special pants that are going to ruin everything else you own and possibly tattoo your legs blue all the way down to your knees! Buy them! Buy them now!"

b) The sorry thing is that I might actually have bought them if they had fit, so desperate have I become to find a pair of pants that fit me properly. I do not consider myself to be uniquely shaped. Not as unique as that dye, anyway. I am a woman. I have produced two rather large babies with embarrassing ease. Ergo, I have hips. And the measurement of my hips is significantly different than the measurement of my waist. I can't be the only person out there like that. So why why why do women's clothing manufacturers insist on the stubborn belief that women are shaped like planks? Have these people met a woman? Are these pants being manufactured in some Trappist monastery or something??? Curves, dudes! We've got curves!

c) Men's shorts. They are too short. These men I live with are tall. There are no shorts to fit them. Why? When I queried the manager at Old Navy, she told me "Our shorts are made in China and are cut to fit Chinese men, who are shorter than American men" without the least hint of apology or suggestion that she recognized the idiocy of this statement. Good Lord Almighty. Do I have to do the thinking for everyone???? You mean there is no one in the entire Old Navy corporation who didn't stop and think "Hey, we want to sell these pants to Americans so, like, maybe we should have them cut to fit our target market???"

2) Cats.

I'm sorry if you have them and you love them. I am very fond of cats myself, in their place. Their place is not out of doors. So perhaps I should amend this to say that I am pissed off at people who let their domestic cats outside. Because my neighbor's cat--who is free to roam at will--ate the baby robins we have been tiptoeing around for weeks. I caught him with the last one in his mouth and he trotted off, baby robin dangling lifeless in his jaws, giving me a look like "What?"

Okay, so it was just a couple of robins. But multiply this cat by the hundreds of thousands of cats terrorizing backyards across the country, and scientists estimate wild bird losses to domestic cats in the millions every year.

And....that's enough of that.

In case you haven't heard, the Summer Blog Blast Tour is underway! (Though it feels like winter here today! Brrrr!) You can find the schedule here. Yep, that's me interviewed on Wednesday at Chasing Ray. You might want to check it out because--as is occasionally a problem with me--I may have said too much!

Now we have a nest of robins in the bush by the back door! How are we supposed to get out of our house???? Through a window?

1. Guiltiest of guilty pleasure alerts! A remake of Ice Castles is in the works! No lie. Now, if someone would just remake Taps...

2. Is the rest of the country as obsessed with the idea of a Jennifer Anniston/Brad Pitt reunion as the supermarket tabloids seem to assume they are? I, for one, couldn't care less. It's just that it's impossible to escape the manufactured debate as I stand in line at Giant Foods. But I do have a problem with the unending casting of Angelina Jolie as some sort of evil siren, as though Poor Seduced Brad had no choice in the matter at all. Why is it always the Other Woman who is solely to blame in this equation? (I'm looking at you, Elizabeth Edwards.) I'm sick of seeing this bogus cultural construct kept alive every week in the grocery store check out line. But anyway, move on tabloids. Jeez.

3. Look, I don't give two pins about the Miss USA pageant, either, but the Miss California kerfuffle has also been inescapable this week and I just have to ask: where is the moral high ground in the California Miss USA Committee getting all huffy over some topless photos of a woman whose breasts they paid to enlarge???????

4. I have bronchitis and am taking Zithromax. Sounds like the name of an ancient Zoroastrian prophet instead of an antibiotic.

The results of the dog-naming contest are in and...well, I had a bad feeling something like this was going to happen.

Look, it's not you, okay? I loved each and every one of your suggestions and would happily have bestowed any one of them on this dear little dog.

However

There are these people I live with, see? And they could agree on nothing. This is just a small sample of what I have to deal with on a daily basis. Try cooking for these people sometime. Yeah. Not. Fun.

So in the end, they finally agreed on a name that wasn't on the list. I present:



Miss Georgie Wyatt (who needs a trim)

I've decided this is a literary reference after all, after Georgie Dorian in Jane Langton's Hall family books. (I was going to go with Georgiana Darcy, but I once had a cat named Georgiana Darcy, as if you couldn't have guessed that.)

BUT I'm still giving away a copy of Funny How Things Change! So I enlisted the services of The Amazing Will again and we did a drawing of everybody who suggested a name:



I tried several times to photograph that slip of paper and failed miserably, so you'll just have to take my word for it that it says....

susanwrites

Susan, if you'll send me your snail mail address at melissa AT melissawyatt DOT com, I will happily send a book your way!